The word leader has no meaning to me. I am a human being before I am anything else. I am neither better nor worst than anyone else. I am a human being who sucks at being myself. Full of love, care, patience, compassion, ego, hatred, pride, anger, frustration, suffering and anything else that can be named.
This was how I felt after tunnel few semester back and this is kind of how I feel right now:
Attachment with the things everyday, we don’t realize where that comes from;
Detachment from things everyday, we cry, mourn and try to resist the irresistible.
Detachment from things everyday, we cry, mourn and try to resist the irresistible.
Happy when we realize I belong in this group, race, place or the mess;
Disgusted when we realize I just did, said or made something that I didn’t wanted.
Disgusted when we realize I just did, said or made something that I didn’t wanted.
Men and women, running in the rain hiding their pain and fighting the good fight within them;
Law, rules and the guidelines that are broken to come out of the chain and enter the vain.
Cursed and abolished but we all know it exists around her, him, them and it cannot be named.
Do something, the oppressed says. Again, do something, the oppressed says:
And I react, panic, try to escape and my heart just clenched and my soul wants a vengeance.
Do something, the oppressed says. Again, do something, the oppressed says:
And I react, panic, try to escape and my heart just clenched and my soul wants a vengeance.
Vengeance, from no one else but the very own self , the very own soul and the very own mind.
Mind fears the tears and cries within the self and halts the motion and stops the soul from doing what it does the best; to love, care, fear, cry, try and dry the river. 
Prasanna, I feel so much angst in this post about what you are learning about leadership. It feels like you cannot find peace in this position as a PA? I know that there are many difficult truths you are struggling with... How is this coming out I your job? Is it becoming overwhelming? Let's talk more... I appreciate all the time you spent talking with me. I hope that you can find enough peace to find some joy with the students you are guiding... They Are first year students trying to learn the basics of college... We must try to find some joy in that and patience if we are going to mentor them ....
ReplyDeleteI have so many questions for you regarding your post....I look forward to talking.
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