On our backpacking trip I struggled on the first day to carry my load. It was painful and it just didn't feel right. On the second day I was able to make more adjustments to my backpack so that it was a better fit and balanced out my load much better. The difference that these adjustments made for my entire hike was tremendous. I felt like I could keep up with the group without a problem. Most importantly, I could actually be present in my environment and enjoy each moment as it came. The third day was even better because I got the help I needed from people who had more experience backpacking than I did. The two leaders for our training excursion helped me rearrange the load I was carrying in my backpack so that the heavy load was more evenly distributed and easier to carry.
This real-world example serves as a great reflection of our jobs as Program Assistants. In retrospect, it reminds me so much of when I first started out as a PA because I saw all of my responsibilities and tried my best to take on my fair share while packing them all into my backpack with my academic duties. There is no sugar coating my first semester as PA because at first, it was painful and it just didn't feel right. I made adjustments along the way and tried to find my own balance which is really the only way that this position can be understood. All of us students have a different load of responsibilities that we are coming into this job with already. In training we all learn about what is expected of us as leaders and organizers, but there is no way to explain to each student how exactly they need to adjust and distribute their heavy load. The process of finding balance takes time and can only be shaped in our individual experiences. But that doesn't mean that you can't ask for help from more experienced members so that your balance can improve. This is going to be a big part of my role as Senior PA because I have experienced some of the same challenges as my teammates will be facing in their new positions. I want to be able to help them find their balance in any way possible, whether it is help with re-distributing the items in their backpacks or by taking some weight from their loads when they are in serious need. This lesson also helped me recognize a lot about myself as a leader who sometimes takes on too much or doesn't realize that she needs help sometimes. I also need to be able to recognize when I need help and go find it so that I can find balance and be present in every moment. Being a strong leader doesn't mean you have to be perfect. Being a strong leader means that you can challenge yourself in new ways but know when to seek out advice and help. We hope that our residents will realize that they need help sometimes and come to us when they need it. Likewise, we need to be examples of that because being the best you can be requires the initiative to ask questions and the openness to learn from others.
This year I hope to challenge myself as a leader in all new ways. I want to improve my role as Program Assistant for my community in a way that has a positive impact that runs deep and spreads far. I also want to develop as a dependable and motivating leader of a team in my role as Senior Program Assistant. I hope to improve my own balance between academics, leadership, and personal relationships.
Every day I realize just how much I love this job for so many reasons that I come to appreciate more and more. I think that my position as a leader in my community is strengthened by my love for the job because it gives me the energy to demonstrate how much I care. It is incredible to have an opportunity to be a positive influence for students during their first year of college. I want everyone to get the most value out of their college experience and take advantage of all the learning opportunities that life has to offer. Having a good role-model, a lot of resources, and a strong community of support can go a long way to finding value in the living-learning experience.
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